Burping Zoe

Zoe is a gassy baby. And she hates having to burp! You know she needs to burp when she kicks and she flails her arms while doing a fussy cry.

She is solely breastfed. At night she receives a large 7 ounce bottle of breast milk and this keep her full until about 2-3am. It takes her almost 45 minutes to an hour to drink the whole bottle! I usually burp her every 10 minutes. Sometimes the burp really doesn't want to come out. That's when I stand up and walk her around,  and she will eventually burp. If that doesn't work, my third resort is to lay her down for 5 minutes and burp her when I pick her up. I don't give her the bottle back until she burps. Sometimes I've waited as long as 10 minutes for a burp, but I know it's coming.

If she doesn't burp often during the bottle she is more likely to keep waking up to burp after the bottle is finished and she has been laid down for sleep. There have been nights where she woke up every 15 to 45 minutes after falling asleep, or just kept crying because she was so uncomfortable. Eventually the waking leads to her being hungry again if it persists for more than three hours. So to prevent all of these wake ups and her requiring another feeding in 3 hours, I try very hard to burp her during the bedtime bottle feeding. This leads her to sleep better and sleep all the way to 2 or 3am, her longest stretch of sleep.

She also tends to spit up a lot of this milk. I have found that burping her more often on the bottle helps to reduce, and in the last few days even eliminate, her spitting up. Some days her spit up got so bad that I needed to change the mattress pad, sheets, her clothes, and my clothes several times. Not to mention I have multiple spit-up stains on our wood floor from random spit ups I didn't even know happened as I was rocking her.

Elias was a gassy baby too. He had more trouble letting out farts and poop. When sleeping he would grunt and groan, kicking his legs until he was 2 months old. He did not spit up or burp nearly as much as Zoe does, so this is new territory for us.

Fake Amazon Reviews

I am huge Amazon shopper, despite some of the negative press Amazon has received over the years, and its dominance over smaller retailers. The convenience and product reviews are the big draw for me. On the rare occasion I go to a store to make a purchase, I usually look for the product on Amazon first or read the many product reviews on Amazon. In a store I am completely unable to make a decision without the power of product reviews. After all, how do I know if it's any good?!

Recently, I've noticed more and more products on Amazon seem untrustworthy. Weird company names, unprofessional product descriptions (with symbols, incorrect grammar, and/or weird phrasing as if the writer is foreign), and the words "sponsored" draw me away. Yet these products get tons of positive reviews. How?!

For example, today I was looking for a musical toy set for my 18 month old. There are SO MANY to choose from. The other day I was looking for a felt Christmas tree for a toddler and had the same experience. How do you sort out the good products when you don't recognize the brands and so many reviews are positive?

Today, I googled my problem and found a website called FakeSpot that has an algorithm that reviews all of the Amazon product reviews per product to tell you if they are "unreliable" (they also do this for Yelp and TripAdvisor). BAM. Just what I needed! So I started searching a lot of my recent purchases to find, to my relief, that many were trustworthy expect one - a face serum that received an F grade for its 1000+ reviews. I immediately started my return on it! I feel so duped - I bought the product based on these positive reviews.

To conclude about my musical toy and felt tree search I mentioned earlier:

This toddler musical toy set has all 5 star reviews, but receives an "F". I plan to add this one to my son's wish list instead. The others sets have good and reliable reviews according to FakeSpot, but the small parts on these toys seem untrustworthy.

The felt Christmas tree I bought has an "A" grade for review quality, even though the description was unprofessional. Phew! I bought it 2 weeks ago because the description and reviewers noted the thicker fabric, even though it was more expensive than other products listed. Fingers crossed it works out when we hang it this weekend...

Maternity Leave - Finances

With Elias I took 12 weeks of maternity leave. With Zoe I took 8 weeks. My decision to go back early was mostly money-driven: I wasn't making money by staying home and we needed to buy a new car to fit our growing family.

The federal government guarantees most mothers (and fathers) will not lose his/her job when taking up to 12 weeks of leave following the birth (or adoption) of their baby under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). However, this time is largely unpaid at most companies, mine included.

Many companies, like mine, that do not offer pay for maternity leave have short term disability insurance policies. These policies are paid for by the employer and will pay a qualifying employee a short-term disability benefit based on the disability and the company's percentage pay policy. A vaginal delivery counts as a short-term disability that receives a benefit of 40% pay for 6 weeks. I am not sure what the benefit is for a cesarean delivery. Thus, the first 6 weeks of maternity leave you receive partial pay and the remaining 6 weeks, if you decide to take more time, is unpaid.

There are some nuances to this benefit that likely varies from company to company and policy to policy. For example you need to claim a waiting week before receiving the short-term disability payout. This waiting week is the first 5 days after your delivery. During this time you are not eligible for the benefit and you must take vacation time if you want to get paid. Secondly, many companies force the employee to use his or her vacation time before he/she can go on leave without pay. Thirdly, some short-term disability policies deduct money from your benefit if you have vacation time leftover after the waiting period.

All of this factored into how I took my leave. I decided to use all of my vacation time except for 5 days prior to my delivery. I took my last 5 vacation days immediately after delivery, then claimed the short-term disability benefit, and then went on leave without pay.

To manage, my husband and I cut down on our savings and IRA contributions, mortgage over payments, and overall expenses. Money is tight with an upcoming new car purchase, and two daycare payments starting in late April.

Back at work

Last Monday was my first day back at work since having Zoe. I decided to go back 4 weeks early because the co-worker who filled-in for my role left the company. I didn't have to go back. In fact, I contacted my supervisor. I was offered a work from home all week option until the new year (then I would continue my 2 day/week work from home schedule), and we could use the money because I was not getting paid and we wanted to buy a new car.

I pulled the trigger by calling my supervisor the week before when I was half sure I even wanted to clog up my already busy and comfortable day. But I knew starting Thanksgiving week would be the most ideal. After all, I'd get a paid holiday and a pretty easy week.

The first day back wasn't bad. Except that I found out all the October things weren't done! I needed to produce a few reports and update lots of documentation. There was no real deadline, but I knew our client wouldn't be happy the longer it lapsed.

Working at home with a baby is tough. It's one big juggling act! Though I have some help, largely I am taking every precious minute of her 15 minute naps to make a quick call or update something. When I am feeding her, I am emailing using voice typing. Even that feature, though very convenient, gets annoying when Google doesn't understand you or you get cut off because you've reached the character limit!

And the crying is the worst. When you're rocking her in her carrier while trying to respond to an urgent email saying "Give mama just one more minute." Or during ill-timed conference calls when it's your turn to speak and you're running back and forth between two rooms because you don't want anyone to hear your baby crying. Ackkkk! It's during these times that I feel like the worst mother ever.

And then there are the successes. Of feeding her while on a call and her not making any noise. Or the success of finishing something just as she wakes from a nap or right before she melts down in her chair, mat, or carrier. Or seeing her smiley face as you work, and getting to smile and talk to her. It's these moments that make working from home worth it!

I experienced a lot of these moments over the last week. But many of these moments are also reminiscent of the work from home days when I took care of Elias before he started daycare at 13 months.

My Non-Nappers

The one thing I remember, though vaguely, about Elias' early months is that he did not nap. Yes, you read that right, my son did not nap between 2 and 4 months. Yes, he fell asleep while eating and I'd let him lay there (after burping him), or he'd fall asleep in the carrier as I was doing something, but neither of these types of naps lasted more than 30 minutes. When I tried to feed him and then lay him in the crib, he'd wake just as I laid him down, or 5 minutes later when I got to the kitchen for breakfast/lunch/snack. I went back and rocked him again. And then again. And then again. And then it was time for him to eat because it had been 3 hours since he last started eating.

At about 4 months, I worked really hard to get him to sleep after his lunch feeding. He'd sleep for 45 minutes which turned into an hour then 1.5 hours and eventually he was sleeping 2 or more hours. When I was pregnant with Zoe, I counted down the minutes to this nap because I also wanted to nap. If he woke early, I'd say "sleepy for Mama" through the monitor. If I said it after his first few cries, before he fully woke, he'd go back to sleep and I got more sleep!

Well, Zoe is the same way. As soon as she learned to differentiate day from night, she took the sleeping at night thing too seriously, only sleeping at night. Sometimes I'd spend most of the day rocking her, and she'd fail to sleep for more than 15 minutes at a time. Yes, I prefer her sleeping at night because this means I get sleep during normal sleep hours, but it does make the day so draining. Especially those days after nights when I had trouble falling asleep after laying her down, or when she's woken up multiple times instead of her one wake between 2 and 3am.

Now that she's two months old, my routine is:

First I see when she wakes in the morning. If it's before 7am, I have a CHANCE at getting her to go back to sleep for another solid hour.

If she doesn't go back to sleep, I usually hang out with her, pump, have breakfast, then feed her when she's sleepy and lay her down. Sometimes she falls asleep, and if she does it's only for 30 minutes. At this time I eat lunch, or shower.

The next available time for a nap is after she eats at 12pm. Usually she'll sleep 30 minutes, but by the time I rock her enough times to do this, it's usually 2pm.

From that point, I put her in the carrier and she naps maybe once more between 3 and 4pm, or if the weather is nice and not cold, we go for a walk. During a walk she will nap for one or more hours. This is the best scenario!

Her last breast feeding is at 5pm. She's usually cranky from 5:30pm to 6pm and falling asleep on our shoulders as I get her milk ready. We feed her a 6oz bottle of breast milk at her 6pm bedtime so that my husband and I can alternate which child we put to bed. She's usually sleeping by 8pm.

Ideal time of year to have a child

We are grateful to have two healthy children born 15 months apart. Our oldest born last June, and youngest this September.

Two months postpartum, I have some new found perspective on what time of year is best to have a child. IMHO it's between April and August. Let me tell you why:

1. In our part of Maryland, the school year cut off is September 1st. This means for a child born in September, you will need to pay for almost a whole EXTRA YEAR of child care because you just missed the cut off. I will, of course, try to appeal this given my daughter's birthday and it's proximity to the cut off date. I will update you in 5 years, ha!

2. It is not flu season.

3. The weather is starting to warm or it is already warm/hot, and you can use all of these to your advantage to find a time of day to get out for a walk (AKA exercise for you, nap for baby). All through summer, my son and I went on daily morning or evening walks. I also did this with my daughter, but after Halloween the weather got too cold most days, or I got too lazy because it was colder (read as: below 50).

4. The holidays are not around the corner, so you're more likely to stick to your diet. Having my daughter in September meant that by the time I started counting my calories and seriously watching my eating (at around 6 weeks), I had Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Year and my husbands birthday to navigate. Of course it's doable, but also hard!

These are all good things to keep in mind for #3 ;p ... that is if we're lucky to be able to conceive for a due date in this short ideal window.

Hello!

I've been meaning to start a blog for a long time. I started reading blogs about 4 years ago when I first got married, but I never knew what to write about or why. I loved reading about the lives of these bloggers beause it gave me ideas for new routines, child care tips, recipies to try, style suggestions and more. Lately, I noticed how these bloggers could easily search their blog to find recipes, memories or photos. This appealed to me because as a millennial I am so used to keyword searching my email to remember a specific date, friend, conversation, vendor, product, etc.

When my little girl was born in September, I found myself not remembering things about the first few months of her older brother's life. My husband tells me this and that was the same with our son, but I don't remember. I do remember the big moments and milestones, though, for how long?

At this point I knew I needed to do something to help me fulfill my desire to remember the day-to-day moments of our lives and keyword search my own memories. I finally had a strong reason to start a blog. So, I came up with a title and here I am!